Doubt in Times of Uncertainty
All of us have experienced times of difficulty where we doubt our purpose, doubt God's care for us, or even doubt His existence. The difficulty of the unknown and uncertainty in our lives challenges not only our faith but our purpose in life.
John the Baptist, the bold proclaimer, baptizez, and cousin of Jesus seems to have experienced such a time of doubt.
Matthew 11:2-3 relays a message from John's disciples to Jesus: "When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples 3 to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" (Matt. 11:2-3)
John at this time was in prison, his ministry days were over, and all that was left was his impending death. John, who was sent ahead of Jesus to prepare his way, fades from the scene after Jesus' arrival and then baptism, being imprisoned by Herod and then killed as a result of his wife's whims. It is understandable, after such difficulty for John to wonder, "Is this the person I waited for and whose ministry I helped to prepare?"
With the benefit of four gospels we have the opportunity to go back and view an encounter early on in Jesus' ministry, in John chapter 1. Verses 29 through 31 describe the encounter, "The next day John [the baptist] saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! This is the one I meant when I said, 'A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.' I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel."
This account in the gospel of John illustrates that John the Baptist knew clearly who Jesus was, so why ask the question in Matthew 10: "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"
Is it possible that John the Baptist did not fully understand Jesus' ministry or mission? That he expected Jesus to come with military force, as many thought at that time? Is it possible that John thought the world would end and Jesus would usher in his new kingdom and reign physically on earth? Or is it possible that John, stuck in prison, with his ministry behind him and death before him, simply began to wonder if this was the person for whom he had suffered? That this person really was the Messiah?
Spiritual Darkness: Dark Nights
For whatever reason John asked the question, John was struggling with doubt. His spiritually dark place obscured his vision of the spiritual reality, something with which we all struggle. Struggles can involve a spiritual darkness, making it hard to see what is real and what is true.
This concept of spiritual darkness causing obscurity comes from church history. Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross from the 16th century utilized this concept of obscure, from the root Spanish word oscura, translated as "dark" (May, 2004). The obscurity or darkness of the moment prevents people from seeing God clearly, and causes one to rely solely upon his or her faith.
Assurance in Obscurity
It seems as if John needed Jesus to reassure him that what he was going through was not in vain.
So Jesus responds by saying, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me [italics added]" (Matt. 11:4-6).
Jesus was saying, "John, here is my ministry; here is what is really important. I am the Messiah, I will take away the sins of the world. Have faith, John. Keep your faith."
In our dark nights, the spiritually dark times where reality may be obscured and we seem to be alone, what a comfort to know that we can call out to God, to ask Him for reassurance, and for reminders that our faith is not in vain.
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